like wind and waves.

I’ve realized that it was you
Who sneaks beneath my sheets
To pull my socks from my feet
Without daring to touch them
Instead pierce my ankles with a borrowed talon
Trace underwater road maps onto my calves
With the broken shell who can longer whisper
The deceptive siren song of the ocean
Use your fingertips to scald constellations
Onto my inner thighs
But not before shattering my kneecaps
With the weight of your breath hanging just
Above my body
I never came across a unit of measurement
Capable of accurately documenting your proximity
To my skin with the wicked promise to never move
A muscle hanging bittersweet in your sea salt breath
Your seat salt breath
Your sea salt breath
Speak slow
My eardrums shattered with the silent lack of
Utterances of emotions reciprocated
Then fabricated into the shrieking promises of what never was
I am still trapped as the person I was,
Standing love drunk with my hand tight in yours
Grinning so widely
I am ugly-scarred from temple to temple
Tangled myself up in my own split ends
Stitching together bed sheets hoping to
Nose dive face first eyes open
Into your ocean.
But I would never jump without a safety blanket.

wow cool 4:16  6:57 AM awesome ruined sleep schedules are great yeah so fun wooooooo

summer summary

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i am not a simple solution
for your run down heart.
my touch will not shock you back
to the place in your mind
where holding her
was the life force keeping your atoms together.
treating the shine of tinsel
like precious metal
does not make it so.
you may trace the roadmap of my limbs with your eyes
but you will never get any closer to your destination.
do not assign me as a place on a map
you attempt to use words to erase the distance.
you don’t even know what they mean.
instead i will be a dictionary, a thesaurus,
a writer’s guide.
because fuck you for turning my only powers against me.
i will not stand for the desecration of this language.
your futile attempts to “woo” me are a disgrace.
the lies spilling from your throat as though they were blood
and you were running through this city with your tongue ripped out of your mouth.
do not tempt me.
stringing letters together to form words, sentences, paragraphs.
only through logic.
only with purpose.
only when they are fighting their way through your skin.
piercing like a swarm of bees,
ready to fight to the death.
words are a suicide mission.
once the right ones finally come forth,
you will be left empty.

i saw myself in the mirror today and all i could think was, “how did i get so old?”

forever taking steps towards something it seems you will never reach.